Morning hesitations
6:10am. My alarm goes off. I roll over to the right towards my side table, blindly reach over for my phone and yank it from the charger. Without even a thought, I hit one of the buttons on the side of my phone to put it back to sleep, to put me back to sleep. Nine more minutes of bliss.
Wrapped in the warm doona, flannel sheets and the smell of nocturnal flatulence I drift back to sleep. My alarm goes off again but I am not ready to start the day. I never am. I hit the snooze button again and then another 3 more times. “Ok, let’s do this” I tell myself. A daily ritual that I can’t seem to ever shake. I grab my phone again. This time taking the decision to stop my alarm. I am awake, barely.
I open up my weather app to see what awaits me outside. It is -28C straight off the mercury but -38C with windchill. In my head I cycle through a list of reasons or should I say, excuses at my disposal that I could potentially use to avoid having to go to work, or at the very least, delay my getting to work. Nope, I can’t do it. I need to get myself up and head to work.
A day rarely starts without a moment on the porcelain throne. I sit, eyes half cocked, adjusting to the brightness of my screen as I catch the news headlines and catch up on my socials. A glance behind me to the clock tells me I need get a move on. I need to be at work in just over an hour.
On a cold winter’s day, the shower is my first life line. My cold skin burns as the warm water makes contact but as I slowly defrost, the burning eases. I keep turning the lever to the left, the water gets hotter and hotter. I can feel my body relax again after the shock and strain of having to drag my self out of bed. I keep it brief, stepping out of the tub shower into the warm, steamy room.
I make my wake back into my room, slide open my closet door and am faced with the daily challenge or figuring out what to wear. Lately it has just been jeans and a button down shirt. I throw on a pair of briefs and make my way down the stairs. I switch on the espresso machine while looking out the south-east facing kitchen window at the back of my townhouse. With a few inches of snow blanketing everything outside, the beautiful blue hour hue illuminates the morning sky. The sun, still not yet up over the horizon, reminds me of the warm bed I unwittingly had to rise from. I wonder why I can’t just rise with the sun on cold winter days like these.
I finely grind some beans and place two scoops into the portafilter, gently tamping it. I lock it in place and extract 6oz of espresso, pouring it into a small glass. I steam some oat milk and delicately pour it into my glass over the espresso, clumsily attempting to create a heart on the foam of my cafe au lait. I grab a jalapeno cheddar bagel, slice it in half and place it in the toaster.
I use the time it takes the to toast the bagel to get ready. Hurriedly spraying my deodorant, brushing my teeth, putting on my clothes and tidying up my hair. The bagel impatiently waits for me in the toaster as the toiletries get put back away in the drawer. I grab some butter from the fridge and spread it on.
The sun is now rising, and I watch as it lights up the sky with shades of pink and orange while I eat my breakfast and drink my coffee. It almost makes waking up before sunrise worth while. I pack some left-overs from the night before in to my bag and head out the door. The time is 7:45am.
